You insult a woman’s driving, and you use the air bunnies? I kill you.– Gloria, Modern Family (via jenny-jenny-bo-benny) so funny
Jon Stewart and Kristen Schaal give examples of...
KRISTEN: Our taxes are going to abortions in ways no one is even talking about.
JON: Well, let's talk about it now. How?
KRISTEN: Well, for starters, we have to cut funding for fire departments.
JON: Why would that be?
KRISTEN: Helllloooo? What if an abortion clinic catches fire, and firefighters put it out, paving the way for more abortions? Abortionist firefighters, paid for with our taxpayer dollars.
JON: Well that's like saying we need to de-fund the Coast Guard because abortion providers go to the beach.
KRISTEN: I hadn't even thought of that. But you're right -- no more Coast Guard! Give me another. This is fun.
KRISTEN: Mile-High Club. Number one cause of unwanted pregnancies between Newark and LAX.
JON: Mining Safety Commission.
KRISTEN: Mile-BELOW Club.
JON: Library of Congress.
KRISTEN: Sexy librarians.
KRISTEN: Space abortions!
JON: Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
KRISTEN: Jon, please. I'm getting pregnant just listening to you.
This is great
ladyofleisuredc asked: The onion is a satirical site. lol
The only pizza dough recipe you'll ever need. →
haygirlhay: Basic Pizza Crust Prep Time: 5 Minutes | Cook Time: | Difficulty: Easy | Servings: 12 Ingredients 1 teaspoon Instant Or Active Dry Yeast 1-½ cup Warm Water 4 cups All-purpose Flour (I like to sub 2 c whole wheat flour, any more than that & it starts getting cardboard-y) 1 teaspoon Kosher Salt ⅓ cups Olive Oil Preparation Instructions Sprinkle yeast over 1 1/2...
Embarrassed Republicans Admit They've Been... →
thecranium: “I can’t believe I’ve been calling for a return to Reagan’s America. I feel like an asshole.”
chaplinnn: Top 10 Shocking Attacks from the GOP... →
corruptpolitics: 1) Republicans not only want to reduce women’s access to abortion care, they’re actually trying to redefine rape. After a major backlash, they promised to stop. But they haven’t. 2) A state legislator in Georgia wants to change the legal term for victims of rape,…
Marcia is Amused.: How the GOP House Cut Spending... →
motherjones: A rundown of other amendments in the bill that House Republicans used to kill Planned Parenthood’s budget: Eliminated cancer screening and basic health services for millions of poor women. Prohibited EPA from regulating greenhouse gases. Cut financing for the Reagan-era…
Michaele and Tareq Salahi claim they were invited to watch the Super Bowl on...– White House party crashers crashed Jerry Jones’ Super Bowl suite - @darrenrovell - RadarOnline (via brooklynmutt) I can never get enough of these two…
When I was a child, President Ronald Reagan was the nice man who gave us jelly...– Opinion: President Reagan’s jelly beans - Rep. Ben Quayle - POLITICO.com Haha… Ben Quayle might be even dumber than his dad. (via joemuto)
Happy 100th Birthday President Ronald Reagan!
nickoftime: Your Presidency was nothing less than inspiring, and joyous to every American citizen in the United States…. except for - African Americans - Latinos - Gay Men - Gay Women - Anyone with Aids - Anyone who’s aspirations that did not involve Wall Street - Public Servants - Any union worker - Fiscal Responsibility - middle class - lower class - poor people in general …...
Can you name any country that became a democracy after a violent revolution?...– Sean Hannity, on Egypt (thanks, Cayman) Gosh, what was the name of that one? Two words, first one starts with a U… (via apsies) Are you fucking serious???? (via fireflyinthesky) Amazing. (via meowsense) Idiot